My old "about me"

When I joined facebook, post high school, I had a list of Chuck Norris inspired lines about me. I was reading them the other day and it brought a smile to my face. I am posting them here for eternity.

While at IIT guwahati,the fishes of Brahmaputra river are in constant fear of Sahil Salunke.Sahil Salunke can drown any fish.

Sahil Salunke works for blind children NGO's in summers,coz he can speak Braille.

Death once had a near Sahil Salunke-experience.

Sahil Salunke once bet NASA that he would travel to the surface of the sun.On March 11,2003 Sahil Salunke landed on the sun.The temperature reading showed 5437.2 Celsius.An embarrassed NASA till date denies the story.

Hundreds of years ago,Sahil Salunke met a bear.The bear got so terrified that it turned white and fled to the arctic.That is why there are no white bears in India.

Sahil Salunke doesn't use pick-up lines.He just says,"Now".

Once on a trekking expedition in the tropical forests of North East India,Sahil Salunke encountered a King cobra.
The snake bit him and after 5 days of excruciating pain the snake died.

Sahil Salunke can delete the Recycle bin.

Sahil salunke doesn't need skype credit to talk.Skype needs Sahil Salunke credit.

Sahil Salunke can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Killing faster than a speeding bullet...running faster than a formula one car..parkouring around tall buildings...these are some of my warm up exercises.

Sahil Salunke doesn't wear a watch,He decides what time it is.

You cannot google Sahil Salunke.You don't find Sahil Salunke,he does.

Sahil Salunke destroyed the periodic table,he believes only in the existence of the element of surprise.

It is believed dinosaurs went extinct due to a giant meteor.That is true if you call Sahil Salunke a giant meteor. 

During winters,Sahil Salunke doesn't get fever.Fever gets Sahil Salunke.

Sahil Salunke doesn't read books.He just stares at them till he gets all the information that he needs.

If by some incredible space-time paradox,Sahil Salunke were to fight himself.He'd win.Period.

Sahil Salunke can take a horse to the water and make it drink too.

Sahil Salunke is the only human to display the Heisenberg Uncertainity Principle,you can never tell how fast or when i am going to kick your ass.

The fastest way to a man's heart is through my knuckles.

James Cameron initially wanted to cast Sahil Salunke as The Terminator,but he realized that he would then have to convert his movie into a documentary.So he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Sahil Salunke once shot down an enemy plane by pointing a finger and yelling ,"bang".

When Sahil Salunke does push ups,he doesn't lift himself up instead he pushes the earth down.

Sahil Salunke once ate a bottle of sleeping pills.They made him blink.

Sahil Salunke counted till infinity-twice.

The original Lord of the Rings Draft featured Sahil Salunke instead of Frodo Baggins.But Tolkiens decided against it as it was only 4 pages,Sahi Salunke kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.

Oh CMON PPL.....IF U WANT TO REALLY KNOW SOMEONE HAVE A CHAT WITH HIM/HER...AND NOT READ THIS "CRAP". :p